***@hotmail.com (phobos) wrote in message news:<***@posting.google.com>...
[snip]
Post by phobosFor sporting records like this you're probably best off trying the
brewers of a well-known Irish stout, who have compiled a large
collection of such things.
This is the joke you are supposed to tell while the foam on a
Guinness is settling. Not supposed to touch a drop till it's over.
This then, being a time metric, is only almost entirely off topic.
So, it's the first ever World Wide Brewing Convention. Hundreds of
brewmasters from all over the world have joined together to discuss
beer making. And all day it's kettles-this and hops-that and yeast-
the-other. And how to malt and what temperature to brew at. And
in other session there are bottling techniques and transport
methods, and the relative merits of traditional kegs, etc. etc.
And that evening, there's a pub. And behind a very long bar there
are samples of each brewery's flagship product. Hundreds and
hundreds of them with labels in many different languages, with
various different logos and crests. And each brewmaster is there
having a glass of his own best product.
Suddenly, a hush falls over the bar. For Old Man Guiness has entered.
And all down the bar is the whisper "It's Guinness. Old Man Guinness
is here." And he is an old man, and walking slowly, hobbling with two
canes, he makes his way down to the end of the bar, levers himself up
on a stool, and looks down the line of brewmasters. And he even nods
to a few, and calls one or two by name. And he turns to the barman,
who was waiting respectfully, and in a clear loud Irish accent
(I can't do that, even in person) he says "Coke please."
Well! The brewmasters are stunned. OMG is having a coke, not one of
his own product. So they whisper among themselves and eventually
pick one of their number to, with great trepidation, move forward
and ask. "Mr. Guinness, are you ok sir? I see you are having a coke,
not one of your own."
And OMG turns to him and says "Aye lad. If you lads are not going
to have a beer, neither am I."
Socks